2007-05-31

I REMEMBER: The Nintendo Entertainment System.

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Yes, I remember it as if it was just yesterday. The most succesful videogame console ever and lord and saviour of the whole videogame industry after the awful crisis created by the dreadful Atari consoles. So lets do a trip down memory lane to the greatest decades of all time: the 1980s.
The year was 1987, I was just 6 years old and one day I went to one of my richest friend's birthday party. After leaving a pretty popular pizza parlor (with a man in a dirty giant mouse costume) we went to his home. When we arrived there some guys were already sitting in front the TV staring at it. As I watched the screen I noticed they were moving a little guy in a world full of breakable bricks, pipes, mushrooms and piranha plants. I focused then my eyes in the upper left corner of the screen to clearly see the name "MARIO" (which is my name, if you didn't know) above the score. I suddenly exclaimed in a loud imperative voice:

-"Hey, goddammit! It's my turn to play! It says Mario right there!" (In a sort of Cartman voice I assume now)
And everyone told me then,
-"No way, dude! That's the name of the game. It's not you!
That was a turning point in my life, Nintendo was calling me by my name to play it.
- "Ok then, it's my turn after Alex who is playing now, you bitches" (Remember I'm recalling it as if I were Cartman)
- "You wish! 15 other kids will play and then you".
Then I told them all, quite disappointed and sad:
-"Screw you guys, I'm going home".

megamancitoBut I didn't go home, I stayed there patiently waiting for my turn. Secret underground worlds, above the clouds and under the water accesible by pipes or large plants (like Jack and the Beanstalk), all thanks to hallucinations caused by ingesting orange and green mushrooms. Finally a full interactive fantasy world was available for me without having to use my own imagination. Without a shadow of a doubt, videogames are the genesis of a virtual reality world (like Matrix, of course).

That time I only played Super Mario Bros. and Burger Time, the classic game of stepping on various ingredients to make a giant hamburger. But the fire was already burning inside me.

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Christmas was still 4 months away, but my list for Santa Claus was already done: a Nintendo. During all that time I only played it again with my cousin, but he only played Zelda 2 (which was good, but not what I wanted). Finally, December 25 arrived. I spent the whole morning playing until my parent ordered me to stop doing it to go to the Christmas Supper with my grandma. The temptation to play was so big that I got sick before we even began eating (ok, I faked it) and they took me back home to play.
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The beggining of everything. My videoplaying days had just begun...

Now lets see some of those classic games from that era (they might not be the best, some of them aren't even good, but they're the ones who made a mark on me).

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MEGAMAN 2- The best music, until, then, in a videogame in the best game about robots destroying other robots to obtain their power in history.

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DUCK HUNT- The Zapper (gun) has been one of the coolest peripherals and this, the only good game done for it. The only thing I hated was not being able to shoot at the dog when he laughed at you when you missed.
Classic cheat- Putting the gun an centimeter away from the screen to never miss.

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A BOY AND HIS BLOB- A blob follows a boy that gives him different jellybeans to make him turn into different things, necessary for your adventure. Pretty original for its time, I think.

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YI AR KUNG FU- I think this game didn't even came out for the NES, but I used to play it alot in the arcades. It is, officially, the original 1-0n-1 fighting game which games like Street Fighter 2 were based upon later. You only controlled a karate kid that only high kicked, low kicked, high punched, low punched and jumped (and always said PPPTOOOOOO, PPTOOOO) and when you defeated the bad guys they fell on their backs with their legs pointing upwards.

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TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES- This game came out before the turtles were famous, I think. Its very high difficulty and the fact that it was never clear what you had to do next made me realize not all games were good...

...until more game came out like these ones, which only reinforced that fact:

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FRIDAY THE 13TH- Hours and Hours walking around a lake and thousands of rooms in thousands of cabins (which all looked the same) looking for Jason. Isn't he's supposed to be the one chasing you? How could this be scary or mildly entertaining? I realized at this point that all games based on licenced characters are complete garbage made only to make money (except Batman and DuckTales, of course).

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BACK TO THE FUTURE- Another fine example of licenced games. Here you helped lil Marty McFly defeat giant bees and guys carrying big glasses using bowling balls and skateboards before the image on a picture dissapeared. It was impossible to pass the cafeteria level! The worst thing was when you died you had to repeat everything from the beggining. I played this a lot with the hope of beating it, but nothing.

HONORABLE MENTIONS: Super Mario Bros. 3, Battletoad, one about some ninjas that turn into animals, Double Dragon, Duck Tales, Batman, The Simpsons: Bart VS. Space Mutants (terrible game), Lolo.

2007-05-29

I LIVE HERE NOW: Dublin


Christ Church Cathedral

Dublin, or Baile Atha Cliath (its official name in Irish), is the capital of Ireland (or Eire) and my brand new home town. The reasons for my stay here will remain a mystery for now for all you bloggers reading this, so keep visiting this blog for more info in a not so far future.


Vivid (oily I think) colours of the River Liffey.

If you've never been to Dublin I can tell you it's just like Main Street in Disneyland, with its nice well painted little buildings, but as if it was run by a horde of drunks. Streets are covered in cigarette butts and remains of puke. By night (3 am, when all the pubs close) the city becomes a giant street party with people throwing bottles and taking a leak on every corner. Pretty fun, indeed.

Hello ladies

The average Dubliner is an expert drinker, very sociable and talkative (if you manage to understand their accent, that's it). They normally hate the English except when it comes to Champions League football, cause everyone cheers for the iconic English teams like Chelsea, Liverpool and Manchester United. In an attempt to distinguish themselves from their British counterparts they use some Irish words for some key elements like Garda (police), Taoiseach (prime minister), Dail (house of representatives) and the names of most political parties.


10,000 places to park and only one city centre? That's the best the Dublin publicists could come up with?

Paris has the Eiffel Tower, New York the Statue of Liberty, Tijuana has the Monument to the Street Whore, and Dublin now has the Spire. Built in 2003, this big pointy thing stands 120m tall in the middle of a city where the tallest building only has like 10 stories (because that's how they like them, short). Originally the Nelson Pillar used to be in this place, but it was attacked and destroyed by the IRA in 1966. The Spire now has a wide array of witty phallic nicknames like "the stiffy by the Liffey" and the "erection by the intersection"

And now
ADVENTURES IN DUBLIN:
After being thrown out of a local pub (3 am), me and my pals Sergi and Kervin, were happily eating a hamburger seating on a bench on the street when suddenly this huge wild Romanian with a giant belly started yelling at us something like: "fries!, fries!" and grabbed our paper bags and started throwing everything on the floor. Luckily we were out of food, and this sweaty guy just kept staring at us until we slowly escaped.

This used to be the sea, now it's just a desert...


Fruit Street.


And now, ladies and gentlemen, Dublin is proud to present... Pearl Jem!


Who needs Johnny Rockets when you have his long lost twin brother Eddie Rockets.


St. Patrick's Cathedral under repairs.


River Liffey sometimes gets empty.


Clarence Hotel, owned by U2.


Dubliners seem to prefer Elvis, his movies are always on TV!

All images by: paper mind